Did you hear? There’s snow coming. You’re fucked. But don’t panic! Here’s the process of how to survive this blizzard.
-Panic.
-Didn’t you see? There might be a substantial amount of snow. Panic.
-Overlook the fact that New England’s way more fucked than you. In some parts of New Hampshire, you need to drive half an hour to get to a fast food place. Just a little fact for you.
-Check Weather.com. “HISTORIC, EXTREME SNOW.” Alright.
-Check Twitter. Look at all those snow jokes! Wow.
-Consider getting supplies.
-Wait, when’s it supposed to start snowing?
-Eh, whatever.
-Check Twitter again.
-Make a joke about how the storm is named “Nemo” on Twitter. It’s like that movie, remember?
-Second-guess the wording in your tweet.
-Keep it anyway.
-Instagram the stuff you’re doing while snow inundates New York. Probably a drink and a book are optimal.
-Will the power go out? Ugh. What are you going to even do?
-Endure the storm, or lack thereof.
-Have fun!
(Photo: Jessie Hodge/Flickr)
