Teenage Greaser
Kim Jong Un Explained

April 9, 2013 | Marina Galperina

Before Kim Jong Un inherited his dictatorship over North Korea, “Dear Leader might have been just another goofy pre-teen in a school play.” That’s what the Atlantic says about those photos. The question mark at the end of the headline says they’re not sure but what they hey, clickity-click-click. The Sun goes all in though: “You’re the Jong I That I Want.” Wow. Apparently, Kim Jong Un was in a middle school musical version of Imperialist American classic Grease.

We asked Michael Malice — Korea expert and author of the Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il — what the fuck?

Kim Jong Un is just following in his family footsteps. One of the legends of the Kim dynasty is that north Korean founder Kim Il Sung wrote the play Sea of Blood… as a anti-Japanese guerrilla! His son, Kim Jong Il, later took this play–written much later by an unknown ghostwriter–and made it into a film, novel and Communist opera. The history of north Korea is one of singing and dancing–and is performed as such constantly, including during their 100,000+ people mass games Arirang.

Oh ok then.

Lil Jong attended an exclusive International School of Berne in Switzerland when he was 11 under a fake name with a bodyguard disguised as a 14-year-old boy and was remembered by one classmate as “the quietest person I have ever met.” And now, enjoy some Sea of Blood.