New Vaccine Takes the High
Out of Cocaine

May 13, 2013 | Julia Dawidowicz

As the great scholar Rick James once said, cocaine is a hell of a drug. Alas, it’s also very expensive, is responsible for more annual U.S. emergency room visits than any other drug, and turns users into selfish, paranoid, sexually impotent jerks. Er, so we hear. And yet, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, about 1.9 million Americans continue to use it regularly.

Soon this number may reduce drastically, if a new anti-cocaine vaccine turns out to be as successful on humans as it’s been on other forcibly coked-out primates. The vaccine (dAd5GNE) contains elements of the common cold with the cocaine-mimicking particle GNE. In effect, once injected, users will no longer experience that dopamine high that hooked them in the first place.

“The vaccine eats up the cocaine in the blood like a little Pac-Man before it can reach the brain,” said lead author of the study Ronald G. Crystal (heh). “Even if a person who receives the anti-cocaine vaccine falls off the wagon, cocaine will have no effect.”

While further studies are needed to determine what effect the vaccine will have on humans — and how often it will need to be administered — this could be revolutionary for those struggling with addiction.

Now, if they could only make a vaccine for the ones who are naturally shitheads.