Earlier last week, Jeff Cantrell of Morehead, Kentucky started a petition to the National Football League requesting that the satirical heavy-metal band GWAR play the upcoming Super Bowl Halftime Show. The petition quickly took off and currently has the support of over 40,000 people who would really like the stage-adjacent Super Bowl spectators to be covered in “blood” and “guts” or perhaps eaten by a giant monster puppet.
GWAR has officially responded to the petition in the form of a full press release by their label Metal Blade Records.
It has long been the joy of GWAR to submit the human race to any number of hideous tortures, and I can’t think of anything more horrible than you having to watch acts like The Black-Eyed Peas and Bruno Mars perform. So the temptation to ignore this is great! But then you start thinking about all of the people that who have never experienced GWAR before, and will be forced to do so if we do get the gig, well, at that point my colossal mega-ego kicks in and I am all over it.
GWAR also said that they would like to participate in the game itself.
I really don’t think we should be limited to playing the halftime show…I am offering GWAR as an actual team that could complete in the NFL. Think of the titanic struggle involved as the NFL submits their best players, hell, we could play against all the teams at once and still emerge victorious. For too long has the NFL ignored the obvious fact that the players should be naked, blind-folded and armed with battle axes, that land mines should litter the field and whalers should hurl harpoons randomly from the stands. GWAR is throwing our entire cosmic weight (and we are fairly hefty) behind this petition, and command all of our followers, their families, and indeed anybody who has ever existed to sign this fucking thing, and in fact for those who have already signed it to create multiple fake email addresses and sign it again!”
The petition can be signed here. It only needs about 8,000 more signatures. Best. Super Bowl. Ever?
(Images: Metal Blade)