Axl Rose Invents Google Ass

February 5, 2014 | Andy Cush

Yesterday, Flea admitted what even the most casual observer of the Super Bowl XLVIII halftime show already knew — that he and his band were “playing” instruments that weren’t plugged in — but that didn’t stop Axl Rose from weighing in with his theory about what really went down that fateful Sunday night.

In a guest post at The Hollywood ReporterRose gave an explanation involving microchip implants and wireless transmitters.

So consider that maybe sometime before their actual performance that rather than use a guitar cord or standard wireless, that in the name of science and for all mankind Flea courageously had a newly invented breakthrough in microchip technology installed in his ass that picked up the frequencies of his bass and transmitted them to his amplifier.

Maybe they all had microchips installed in their asses and not only pick up the frequencies of their instruments but get Direct TV and the internet too! Like Google Glass… Google Ass! They could be “Scientific Pioneers!” Like Buzz Aldrin and shit! True (pardon the pun) ASS-tro-nots! Or like Superbowl crash test dummies for bands kinda like those cars that drive themselves!

Google Ass! Of course! Buzz Aldrin and Shit! Kudos to Axl for speaking up and laying rest to this controversy once and for all. We should have known it was Google all along. Writes Rose:

So relax and show some pride! This is probably all just Google finding new ways to enrich our lives with the selfless volunteering of the Peppers and the ever ongoing creative process of true innovation or perhaps a new lounge bar record of super magnificent proportions and a new pinnacle of human achievement not seen since the sign language guy in South Africa!

God Bless America, the Peppers n’ technology… PN’T!