Please Don’t Make Your Own Powdered Alcohol And Snort It

April 25, 2014 | Backdoor Pharmacist

Palcohol, the powdered alcohol that will completely change the way we brunch and justify our one bottle of wine a day habit, had its label approval cruelly torn from it after the alcohol law blog Bevlaw reported on it. The makers claim it was just an error in the packaging but from the history of other powdered alcohol products, the prognosis ain’t good. Of course, FUCK DA MAN.

So Supercompressor has followed the instructions of the 1974 General Foods patent to make powdered alcohol and then shoved it up his nose with predictable results.

Supercompressor used N-Zorbit M or Tapioca Maltodextrin, a common food additive. While not a cyclodextrin which would microencapsulate the ethanol this form of maltodextrin has a lot of kinks and a “fuzzy” molecular texture, allowing ethanol to get trapped in the fuzz.

High proof liquor was the ideal choice. It could have been more powdery with a silica gel packet but who had time for that in today’s hot, fast blog news cycle! Cyclodextrins would be ideal but they aren’t widely available, yet.

He didn’t get drunk, because he’d have to put about half a cup of the stuff up that particular facehole. Even better, the minute the dextrins come into contact with warm water, they break apart, releasing their ethanol. You’re a walking 98.6°F space heater that’s all moist inside. The thought of that burn and drip make me wince.

N-Zorbit M used to be the domain of big food companies looking for a fat replacer in their low fat products, but molecular gastronomy has now made it something that appears on a $50 plate containing $3 of juice and $0.50 of maltodextrin. Molecular gastronomy is the bougiest fucking thing since doing lines off an iPad.

Have fun; try not to die.

(Image: Supercompressor, chemistry)