Groundhog-Gate: Homicidal Mayor Killed Ceremonial Animal

September 25, 2014 | Rhett Jones

The New York Post just broke the story of the year wide open. It seems that Mayor Bill de Blasio is responsible for the death of Staten Island Chuck, New York’s beloved official groundhog/weatherman/pagan.

In February, the Mayor was taking part in the city’s annual Groundhogs Day duties of holding the famous rodent and having his picture taken when he dropped Chuck. And it was all caught on video:

A week later Chuck died of internal injuries. OR DID HE?

It turns out Chuck was actually Charlotte, a stand-in that the Staten Island Zoo employed for fear that Chuck would bite the Mayor, as he had bitten Bloomberg a few years earlier. But Bloomberg is a very tiny man, and no groundhogs perished from the short fall that day. OR DID THEY?

For their part, the Mayor’s office says they were unaware of Chuck/Charlotte’s fate and the Post was the one to inform them of the “coverup.” The zoo says they will continue to use stand-ins and the daughter of Chuck and Charlotte, also named Charlotte, will take her mother’s place next year.

How deep down the Groundhog hole does this story really go? That deep. Exactly that deep. That’s the whole story.

(Photo: NYC Mayors Office)