Chillest Man Ever Gets Chairs Thrown At Him, Broomstick Broken On His Head, Gives Zero Fucks

November 6, 2014 | Amy K. Nelson

In terms of internet brawl videos at fast food chain restaurants, it’s hard to top this one. But the dude starring in the one posted to MyFox Philly’s website sets a new bar for giving zero fucks.

Two women decided, for reasons unknown, to flip the fuck out on our man, who looks like he may weigh around 350 pounds. The title of the video says there was an argument about the McDonald’s breakfast menu. At the beginning, one woman announces, “I will smack the shit out of you.”

She was not fucking around.

Her and another lady decided to go all WWE and take the wooden chairs in the restaurant and launch them at our man. He swats that shit back in the seats so quick, with such cool, calm steady movements that it’s like he’s got a force field around him.

Still, I don’t care how big you are, when women are launching chairs at you and you Heisman them mid-air AND they’re breaking broomsticks OVER THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD and your collective reaction is “Meh,” you are a new internet hero. The video is edited, so it’s unclear just how long he had to combat these lunatics.

At the end of all the action, some random man enters looking confused and in need of a friend. Or some breakfast.

(Photo: NationalNewsChannel)