Mayor De Blasio Woos Reporters With Dramatic Reading Of An Onion Article

January 28, 2015 | Prachi Gupta

Mayor Bill de Blasio, who supported the Eric Garner protests and has admitted to smoking weed, continues to be a man of the people. On Tuesday afternoon, he performed a dramatic reading of an Onion article that gently mocked his preparedness for a storm that never arrived in New York City.

Ahead of what he cautioned was a “potentially historic” snowstorm, De Blasio imposed a travel ban in New York at 11 PM. Public schools were closed on Tuesday, parks shut down Monday evening, and even the city’s subway service was halted. The storm, however, missed New York City by miles (Long Island was clobbered, as was much of New England).

In the Onion article, de Blasio is quoted as cautioning New Yorkers to “Reconcile Yourselves With Your God, For All Will Perish In The Tempest,” saying, “This shall be a tempest the likes of which has never been glimpsed by man or beast. Clutch your babes close to your breast and take small comfort in knowing that they will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever.”

Listen to de Blasio’s dramatic reading below, and cherish that what could have been never was.

(Photo: Mara Gray)