America is Tattered and Torn

February 25, 2015 | Prachi Gupta

America is tattered and torn: Our criminal justice system is totally fucked, Congress is basically anti-science and New York may be witnessing its coldest month on record. Okay, so one of those things is not like the other, but the point is this: Morale is so bad that even the flags are starting to show it.

The American flags that once waved proudly atop the iconic Brooklyn Bridge are nearly in shreds, and there’s nothing the government can do about it. The Department of Transportation says that ice, wind and snow are preventing hardworking Americans from doing their jobs to replace the flags (no word on whether artists could get the job earlier). This blight on the great American nation will stay up until weather conditions improve.

But hey, the bald eagles are back, so freedom lives…in Staten Island.

(Photo: NY1)