Finally, A Presidential Candidate Who Appeals To the Nation’s Coveted Sister-Fucker Demographic

March 23, 2015 | Bucky Turco

On Monday, Tea Party favorite Ted Cruz announced that despite being born in Canada, he will run for president, of the United States. Congratulations to the Texas senator, who’s easily the most qualified politician to give false hope to disenfranchised white people and then dash it all way the moment a slightly more serious Republican throws their hat in the ring.

(Photo: Gage Skidmore)