“Listen In” is a weekly feature in which we ask musicians to curate a mixtape-length YouTube playlist of songs they’re currently digging. Click the big play button above to hear the whole playlist or scroll down to see and hear individual tracks.
Over two decades after the last Storm Rave, Frankie Bones, progenitor of the U.S. techno and rave scene, is bringing back the underground party on May 16 with some of his pals. In honor of the event, Bones curated a Listen In, but not without putting his own bizarre twist on it.
This week’s Listen In is little more interactive, taking into account the actual music videos into account. Also, it’s a compilation of music videos that Bones has identified as the absolute worst the internet has to offer. “I spent a while trying to dig up the worst videos I could find, and I think you would be hard pressed to actually find anything worse,” Bones wrote to ANIMAL via email. “If you think you know anything out there that compares, let me know. But I think this really going to be difficult. Almost as difficult as sitting through THE WORST RAP VIDEOS, PERIOD.” Try not to tear your eyes and ears out after you watch the music videos, accompanied by Bones’s commentary, below.
La fear – “All On”
“Lafear has proved to be the worst video I have found on Youtube. Truth be told, it also has somehow become a classic at the same time. Lafear admits to wanting sex with underage girls while chilling with chicks who appear to be pregnant. Can’t really top the Garageband demo either.”
Bam Margera – “Bend My Dick”
“Jackass. Rich white guys with money and too much time on their hands.”
Riak- “How You Want Me To”
“A native of Sudan who now lives in Australia, he appears to be a victim of his own game. Again, if English is not your first language, STFU, and don’t do this.”
R.A.E.D. – “I No She Wants Me Back”
“When I was young, I sometimes had panic attacks where music and TV noise was attacking me. It was extremely distressing. That’s what this song reminds me of which is how music feels under the influence of a panic attack.”
Sean Fury – “Bi-Racial Girl”
Sean doesn’t rap in this video, but “They Keep Talking” isn’t nearly as humorous as this one. In black & white? Unicorns do not exist in his rainbow world. WTF?????
Peter Pan – “I’m Peter Pan”
“This goes without saying. Holy Shit.”
GYM – “Dave Neurotic”
“I go GYM? Ummmm, no. I go TO THE Gym. Wow, these three should be taken out of their dusty flat, and tarred & feathered. And that wouldn’t even be nearly as bad as this video.”
D4NNY – “Goodbye”
“Woooooooooooot. What the f*ck did I just watch? This is just silly.”
DUBLE G – “The Quadfather of Rap”
“He flows like the Rappin Duke. Dah ha Da Ha……..nuff said.”
Smithy Boy & LDOT – “Freestyle”
“Ldot got marbles in his mouth and is like 20 years old hanging out with 10 year old kids, creepy. Telsford, U.K. is 34 miles west of Birmingham and these kids seem to be headed nowhere fast. Just ask Safeway, the 9 year old kid smoking “fags” bought from the grocery store which went out of business in the U.K. in 2003.”
Da Rich Kidzz – “Hot Cheetos and Takis”
“BEST FIND ON YOUTUBE – These kids are AWESOME. Nothing bad about this video, I mean before we continue with #11-20, I figured I give you something worthwhile. These kids are bad ass…….”
White Girl Yardie – “White Girl Yardie”
This is just totally outrageous. This lady is like 50 and she probably has Grandkids. And the idiot filming should have told her, “hmmmmmn, maybe not such a good idea”. I mean WTF????
Pastor & Mrs. Jim Colerick – “Rappin for Jesus”
“Someone get Al Sharpton on the phone. Did he say the N-word? You bet.”
MC Granterry – “Coffee Song”
“It really does not get worse then this. I mean these U.K. guys should be banned from making Youtube videos. Point Blank.”
JayJay – “I Tried To”
“Same as above, only difference with MC GRANTERRY is the fact that this kid got out of his dusty bedroom and met a girl and fell in love. But it goes no further then that.”
Eli Porter – “You Don’t Like Me”
“Since I realized the last two probably were real hard to get through, here is a short :35 clip where Eli was pure Fire. Tosh.0 got him gassed up for sure, otherwise Eli is well known for that crippled kid on that Rap Battle that went viral many years ago. Worst freestyle ever.”
Wannabe – “Get Smoked Like That Blunt (Remix)”
“This remix is epic. The original follows, but this is one of the best saves I have ever seen.”
DJ SMILE – “Ecstacy”
“Well over a million views, this viral rapper is about the worst I have ever heard.”
50 Tyson – “I Ain’t Gonna Lie”
“Wait. You sure did lie. It’s like if 50 Cent had a retarded son and found out he wasn’t the Dad, and Mike Tyson was.”
Stitches – “Kilos in my Bag”
“I mean Stitches was cool the first five minutes he came out, now the same song six songs later and he’s not in jail yet? Homie’s days are numbered.”
MC Burberry – “Dear Burberry”
“Just kill yourself now.”
