Last year, Deadspin’s Greg Howard called odious conservative blogger Chuck Johnson a “clowntroll,” a portmanteau of “clown” and “troll” that gets at both how Johnson says irresponsibly provocative things for the sake of attention and is completely ridiculous and absurd while doing it. This description also applies to a certain Republican presidential candidate/noted Worst Person in America/man who will shrivel and die if cameras aren’t pointed at him. Donald Trump is a clown and a troll.
Today’s performance in the Donald Trump Clown Show is that he released a financial disclosure statement that’s transparently bullshit. Crain’s reports that Trump claims that his net worth is $8.7 billion, which is more than double the Forbes billionaire list estimate. Fuck outta here, Donald Trump.
Crain’s notes that he claims ownership of $302 million in “cash and marketable securities.” However:
“Mr. Trump’s cash includes money he’s claiming ‘before the collection of significant receivables.’ Receivables are funds you are owed but haven’t been paid yet. Mr. Trump’s argument that receivables should be counted like cash is like saying if I give you an I.O.U. for $1 million, you are a millionaire.”
This is a very similar accounting principle to the “potential future earnings” one Enron used. Trump says that his financial statement has been audited by a “big accounting firm—one of the most highly respected.” He doesn’t name what it is. Is it Arthur Andersen? Try harder, Donald Trump, you spray-tanned turd!
Comedian Anthony Jeselnik, who famously got his big break roasting Donald Trump in 2011, has said that during the roast, the one thing comics were forbidden from saying was that Donald Trump had less money than he said he did. Donald Trump, man. He’s superrich, but you can’t say he’s not as superrich as he believes he should be. What a clowntroll.