God Bless America, A Dog Is Running for Mayor of Schenectady

July 3, 2015 | Liam Mathews

Schenectady is a depressed-but-slowly-recovering city in upstate New York near Albany with a notoriously dysfunctional police department. Hopefully soon it will also be known for its dog mayor.

A 13-year-old mutt named Diamond entered the mayoral race this week. Her candidacy was announced by her campaign manager Kathy Fitzmaurice, who filed on her behalf because Diamond is a dog who can’t read or speak English. Diamond is campaigning as a write-in candidate, and her platform is “lower taxes and a fire hydrant on every block,” according to the Schenectady Daily Gazette.

The Gazette notes that animals “can’t really run for elected office,” but why not? I hope everyone in Schenectady writes in Diamond on election day and EXPOSES OUR DEMOCRACY FOR THE SHAM IT REALLY IS. If the people speak and they ask for a dog who will probably allow General Electric to pay no taxes while dumping poison into the Hudson, that’s just the will of the people. Tomorrow is Independence Day. If we don’t have the freedom to elect a dog to office, are we really free at all?

(Photo: Peter R. Barber)