All That Glitters Ain’t Gold

February 18, 2024 | Bucky Turco

Targeting sneakerheads is actually kinda brilliant. Where else can a conman-politician find a young, diverse and mostly amoral demographic that worships at the altar of consumerism and nonsensical brand partnerships? Nike could collaborate with Halliburton, and there would still be footwear stans waiting in line to cop them. And so, it makes perfect sense that Sneaker Con, which is apparently owned by people who donated money to the re-election of the former president, would serve as a backdrop for Donald Trump to stop in at for five minutes and hawk gaudy sneakers for $399 a pop, a day after a court ruled that the failed businessman was ordered to pay over $355 million for perpetrating yet another fraud.

Donald Trumped getting booed at Sneaker Con.

The gold-colored high tops reportedly sold out already, but it’s unclear how many sneaker stooges bothered to read the fine print: The pre-order kicks won’t be distributed until July and even then, “shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed,” according to the website selling them. Ok, but what about the design, will it be the same? Maybe? “The images shown are for illustration purposes only and may not be an exact representation of the product.” Just like Trump!