In a bid for “hipster”-baiting buzz that makes your average New York Times trend piece look tame by comparison, the New York Daily News is reporting that residents of three totally grimy, starving-artist neighborhoods — Bushwick (average one-bedroom rental as of December 2013: $1,990), Greenpoint ($2,859), and Williamsburg ($3,443) — actually wear clean clothes! Some of them even have day jobs!

The News discovered this shocking truth by consulting with FlyCleaners, a third-party company that shuttles your clothing to the laundromat or dry cleaner, which gave them the inside scoop on how the three neighborhoods do their laundry. In short: there’s a lot of flannel and skinny jeans, and when people want stuff dry cleaned, it tends to be — surprise! — white button-ups.

Read the full report, if you can bear it, here.