Are you a “budgeted student, who have (sic) a primary residence?” A “full time work (sic) who rarely stays at home (Male renters only)?” How about a masochistic hermit who enjoys low light and beds that looks like prison cells? This Final District rental is perfect for you.

As spotted by Curbedthe room-cum-dungeon of existential despair features high-speed Wi-Fi, electricity, and both cold and hot water. Unfortunately, there’s no kitchen or bathroom. But that’s alright: you have a mini fridge and a microwave, and a gym “around the area” is only $150 a month.

Rent will set you back $800. See more horrifying pictures in the gallery.