Minimalist Film Reviews:
The Unknown Known

May 20, 2014 | Marina Galperina

The Unknown Known (2013)

A portrait of an old man as an orchestrator of history. Master documentary filmmaker Errol Morris puts former United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld on the spot to discuss his ’60s congressmanning to the whole 2003 invasion of Iraq thing WTF WAS THAT AMIRITE?!!?!

When Rummy breaks into a smile because he’s said something so clever it almost makes perfect sense except for it means the opposite, your arteries will crust over with jagged frost. This dude tho has been part of American history for forever, managed to duck during the Watergate fiasco like a pro, then pulled all the strings and then BAM!!! we’re in Iraq. Good thing he kept thousands and thousands of hours worth of memos, like so: “Reports that say there’s — that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know. [AND NOW WE DROP BOMBS ON YOU BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING ELOQUENT AND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION MAYBE AND WHAT NOT, SCHWING!.. And what is torture anyway amirite?]”

CLARITY: 1.5 out of 5.0 

We do not torture except for we do but when we do torture we do not really torture, get it? Watching this film really made me really realize what sort of mental gymnastics our political overlords go through to keep on thrusting their military power dick in every perceivable hole of this planet. Oh yeah baby talk idioms to me.

YO DANNY ELFMAN U NEED 2 CHILL: 4.0 out of 5.0
For reals chill w the whimsy tho and Errol, bring back Philip Glass ringtone tunes cuz I’m already watching a horror movie but now I’m crying too FUCK THIS FUCK WAR FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK!!!

(Graphics: Michael WeinfeldMore: All Minimalist Film Reviews