Williamsburg has been over since around the time when James Murphy was playing Daft Punk to the rock kids, but every now and then (meaning every week or so) something comes along that’s like, “Wow, this is the wackest thing that has ever existed in this condo-riddled tourist trap.” This week, it’s yoga set to house music in McCarren Park. “Dance club Verboten’s bringing its popular vinyasa yoga class paired with house music to McCarren Park for two days this summer,” writes DNAinfo, “with DJ George Faya pumping out a mix of both mellow and fast-paced electronic dance music throughout the session.”

No thanks!

Verboten is a dance club just around the corner from Wythe Avenue’s infamous Bro Row, where Brooklyn Bowl, Brooklyn Brewery, the Wythe Hotel and Output have turned the formerly industrial/arts district Northside into a playground for bankers and the marketing consultants who flirt with them. McCarren Park is the staging ground for the neighborhood’s various personality conflicts, where sleeping Polish drunks get woken up by teenagers fighting or farmer’s markets or adult kickball (back when Williamsburg was for “hipsters” and the word “hipster” had a nearly identifiable definition) or rock bands. Now they’re woken up by house music yoga, because EDM has replaced indie rock as the neighborhood soundtrack and being healthy is more fashionable than being self-destructive. Williamsburg is officially East Murray Hill.

(Photo: Will Femia)