NYC Fishermen Catch Fish, Diseases

Times are tough in New York City, and like Detroit, Wall Street’s financial ass-raping has forced the poorer segments of the populace to resort to new ways of procuring food. And while raccoons provide some good eating in Motor City, it’s all about contaminated fish in Gotham. Ghetto fisherman, many with families to feed, are dropping their lines into the city’s brackish waterways and catching fish riddled with PCBs and other cancer causing pollutants. But some aren’t convinced of the danger and trust that the city would alert them if the freshly caught food wasn’t edible. Says one fisherman from the Bronx, “If it was poisonous, they’d put up a sign.” |NYDN|

Rolls Royce Snickers At the So Called Economic Downturn

As GM declares bankruptcy and the government takes an unprecedented 60% stake in the maker of unsellable automobiles, Rolls-Royce is cruising right along, reporting its best sales in nearly two decades. Of course, as the luxury brand’s director of sales and marketing points out, their demographic happens to be filthy rich with even their accessories costing more than a typical Phantom: Read more »

Bronx Zoo Fires Animals

The fallout from the financial disaster continues to reach epic proportions and now its affecting the animal world with word that the Bronx Zoo has to cancel some of their shipments: “The institution is closing four exhibits and shipping hundreds of creatures to zoos and aquariums around the country, officials told the City Council Cultural Affairs Committee yesterday.” |NYP|

Visualizing A Trillion Dollars

Just how much is a trillion dollars? Here’s a handy illustration that could help put things into perspective because sometimes graphics are the only way to explain how fucked the economy really is. Click here to see he difference between a $100 million that fits on a standard palette and a trillion which requires lots of them (FYI: the illustration above depicts $1 billion). |Pagetutor|

Barneys Appeals To Satanic Gamblers

The country is in a looming financial crisis—just today it was reported that the economy suffered its worst decline since 1982—but for luxury department store Barneys New York, this marks the perfect opportunity to peddle products like this $195, gold ‘Rotten Luck Dice‘ set from D.L. & Co. Made from zinc alloy and crystal die, each comes with “engravings of images evocative of good and bad luck,” including the devil himself. More esoteric Lucifer-linked symbols* after the jump.

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Abandoned Store Invokes Judgment Day Warning

Spotted on Broadway a few doors down from the world famous Ed Sullivan Theater where David Letterman sits pretty.

Tiffany Defies Economic Downturn With Luxe Tennis Ball Can

Sure, our economy might be in the worst shape since the Great Depression, the luxury market could dip nearly 7% this year, and wealthy consumers are supposedly shifting from “conspicuous to discerning consumption” according to Forbes, but those silly variables don’t interest Tiffany & Co. and the defiant premium brand is offering this must have Tennis ball can as proof. The high polish container is made of sterling silver, holds four tennis balls to keep them at “their optimum playing temperature whilst on the court,” and sells for the bargain rate of only $1,500. |Sybarites|

NYU Unveils Financial Aid Plan for Poor Students: Go To CUNY

With the financial crisis showing no signs of letting up anytime soon, even schools like New York University are trying to formulate strategies to deal with the “troubled economic times,” but not everyone approves of their tactics. An incensed reader attending the expensive school sent in this flyer (legible version HERE) being distributed at the student center, encouraging a CUNY education as the cheaper alternative for those that can’t afford NYU. “I think it’s pretty fucked up that NYU can’t give its students decent financial aid even though John Sexton flies to Abu Dhabi every other week and we keep buying new buildings all over the city,” wrote the academic. The flyer detailing their “new In and Of the City financial aid plan” shows a map of the CUNY system, offers a handy chart detailing how much money students can save ($43,183 a year!), and provides this spirited quote from Sexton: (UPDATE: it’s a fake.)

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Mercedes-Benz Ain’t Afraid of A Little Slowdown

Despite an economy in the shitter, what seems like an endless down streak on Wall Street, and the “Big Three” lobbying hard for a bailout of the auto industry, Mercedes isn’t worried about a shortage of rich people in NYC. The quality car company that builds vehicles people want announced plans to open up a newer and bigger flagship in Manhattan. The 330,000 sq. ft. facility, scheduled to be fully operation by 2011, will be located slightly more uptown on 11th Avenue between 53rd and 54th Streets.