‘Abraham Obama’ Hung On White House Christmas Tree

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Talk show queen Oprah Winfrey interviewed the First Family for her “Christmas at the White House” special and while touring the presidential residence, the camera panned in on a particularly eye-catching ornament adorned with the artwork of billboard liberator and Popagandist Ron English. A decoupage of his iconic “Abraham Obama” was spotted on one of the 27 Christmas trees as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Michelle Obama said they sent out blank ball ornaments to “nonprofits and such” where they were decorated and sent back.

By on December 15, 2009 at 10:45 am
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Sarah Palin’s Quitting Disease Must Have Infected Oprah or Something

Today America is in mourning after learning last night that their beloved thuggish overlord/fast food terrorist is cold quitting her syndicated show in 2011, thus leaving a gaping void in human freakshow television in the mid-afternoons on weekdays. Obviously, the appearance by noted quitter Sarah Palin on her show earlier in the week had some sort of profound voodoo effect on Oprah. What will America ever do? |ABC|

By on November 20, 2009 at 10:25 am
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Liveblogging the Clash of the Lady Titans That is Sarah Palin’s Appearance on Oprah

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Sarah Palin is appearing on Oprah RIGHT NOW! And ANIMAL is going to liveblog it! Yeeeaaahh! Click through to join in the fun. Read more »

By on November 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm
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Connecticut Chimp Attack Victim Unveils New Face on Oprah

Remember earlier in the year when a deranged chimpanzee named Travis attacked a 55 year-old Connecticut woman, ripping off most of her face, including her eyes, nose and jaw? Read more »

By on November 11, 2009 at 4:58 pm
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NY Press on Precious: ‘Post-Hip-Hop Freakshow Con Job of the Year’

I never thought I’d ever be anxious to spend twelve bucks on any film in which Tyler Perry held a producer’s credit, but I have to say that I’ve been really looking forward to seeing Precious, the Oprah/Perry vehicle about an overweight black teenager who gets impregnated by her father. But not everyone is as enthusiastic about the film as I am apparently, and one such person is the New York Press‘ Armond White who this week posted a scathing review of the film that did everything but insinuate that the film’s script was written by Lucifer himself. Read more »

By on November 6, 2009 at 5:26 pm
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Why Does Oprah Hate People Who Bone on Her Private Jet?

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from America’s thuggish overlord/fast food terrorist, Oprah. Most recently she was seen wearing her P.T. Barnum hat to host a cornucopia of circus freaks like Mackenzie Phillips and the face transplant lady. Now a lawsuit alleges that Oprah fired a flight attendant and pilot on her private jet because they had the audacity to fuck each other…ON OPRAH’S PRIVATE JET! Read more »

By on October 12, 2009 at 3:46 pm
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Evil Empirical

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Each week, ANIMAL will rank the world’s most despicable, deplorable, and undesirable human beings walking the earth, making the news. Behold: Evil Empirical. Read more »

By on May 8, 2009 at 3:08 pm
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