Ever since it was revealed that Tiger Woods drilled more holes than sandhogs, his life has been turned upside down, but that’s all about to change. After taking a few months off to treat his natural maleness, he will tee off at The Master’s tournament this afternoon, where his entire existence will ultimately be judged by a golf score. Watch it live here. In the meantime, check for that creepy Nike video featuring the voice of Tiger’s dead father below. Read more »
You may have heard that, starting Thursday, Tiger 9-iron Woods begins playing golf professionally again at The Masters in Augusta, Georgia. It will probably be the most-watched golf event in TV history. Here, Sky TV in New Zealand promotes their coverage with the proper decorum that this royal sporting event deserves. Note the bent driver. No word on whether or not Woods will playing with his customized Bimbo Balls. I’m hoping one of his 20 former/current miffed mistresses or even a fast streaker or two makes it past his 90 bodyguards and sexually assaults him on the course. |Image: BestAdsOnTV|
In what had to be one of the oddest interview formats ever, Tiger Woods spoke to ESPN and the Golf Channel on Sunday for only five minutes each, while standing up, as if he was ready to run away at any moment. The legendary and now infamous golf pro briefly addressed his naughty behavior and hopes he’s greeted with applause and not boos when he returns to play the Masters next month.
Today one of Tiger Woods’ 40 virgins launched a website with over 100 text messages allegedly received from the golf pro. These text messages expose Tiger as the chauvinistic badass we all knew he was anyway. Read more »
Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods’ most popular jump off, said she can’t be in Howard Stern’s beauty pageant featuring the golfer’s mistresses because of legal reasons, but TMZ says her friends have suggested a cardboard cutout as a stand-in. Considering the company, what would be the difference really?
Well Tiger’s robotic, painfully stiff and exceedingly rehearsed “presser” just ended. Did you notice how Tiger made sure to stare directly into the camera when he uttered the words “I’m sorry?” Oh, and how he patted his heart and stared into the camera when he said something else? Media Training! But the biggest message conveyed by Tiger today wasn’t something he said. Rather, when the center camera went out and the press feed had to switch to a side camera, the world got a clear look at Tiger’s left hand, which was devoid of a ring on his ring finger. Cue the reckless speculation now!
In less than an hour, Tiger Woods will step up to a podium and say something. What he’ll say exactly in anyone’s guess, but it’s being carried live by all three major networks, all the cable news networks, ESPN and Lifetime (Kidding!). Is anyone else wondering what’s going through the Flapjack Floozy’s mind this morning? Anyway, you can watch the whole thing live right here. Read more »
Even since the Great Tiger Woods Sex Scandal of ’09 broke, Tiger has maintained a bone-headed air of silence about the whole thing, all but refusing to express himself in anything more than a lawyerly press release. But now, finally, Tiger is going to face the proverbial music, in public, tomorrow. Or maybe Friday. Read more »
Wow, just when you thought you’d heard the last ridiculous Tiger Woods sex story, here come this one from today’s New York Post: Tiger knocked up porn star Joslyn James not once, but twice. And here I was thinking all along that porn actresses were on some sort of permanent birth control or something! Read more »
Hey do you play golf? Are you tired of using those boring old Titleist balls? Well how about something more, ugh, stimulating? Introducing Tiger balls, golf balls emblazoned with the images of the various ladies of the Tiger Woods sex scandal. Are you Jaimee Grubbs kind of golfer? Or perhaps you’re more of a Flapjack Floozy kinda guy? Take your pick! |Tail of the Tiger|
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