Gallon Smashing Kids Are Stupid and Awful But So Goddamn Funny

February 22, 2013 | Samer Kalaf

The Harlem Shake is all but dead (hopefully), and people might be voraciously searching for the new horse to beat past death. Gallon smashing–in which one carelessly tosses two gallons of liquid in the air near unsuspecting supermarket patrons as he pretends he slipped– is not it.

As hilarious as this is, please don’t make any imitations of this video. It’ll end up being incredibly wasteful and not nearly as funny as the original. Enjoy this for what it is, and don’t make more of these. We don’t need a CNN report two weeks from now about how this new fad called gallon smashing is very dangerous (“This Florida teenager slipped and suffered a leg contusion, missing two days of school!”), complete with man-on-the-street interviews of senior citizens dressing down the current generation of dumb kids. Sometimes a video of dumb kids spiking milk jugs can just be a video of dumb kids spiking milk jugs, and we can appreciate it then move on.

Art. Also, #art. It’s a trollish happening, basically. I mean, they’re still assholes, but there’s something entrancingly beautiful about the intensity and choreography of these crashfalls. Physical performance can be legit: Marina Abramović & Ulay‬ ran into each other naked until they collided and slammed, and that was compelling. Let’s just say… this disrupts our Capitalist social space! Consider Tsui Kuang-yu Bowling Alley in London (2006)‬ — a simple, eloquent act of misappropriation, ie. bowling at clueless pigeons —  but with conflict instead of grace. Well done, little assholes. Well done. – ed. Marina Galperina