Minimalist Film Reviews:
Guardians of the Galaxy

August 5, 2014 | Marina Galperina

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

A continuation of a lot of Marvel mythology. [Enter Wikihole here →   ] Gang of various space losers (half-human theif bro, big bloke from a planet without metaphors, traumatized but strangely well-adjusted alien assassin chick, an escaped lab racoon who is a genius, a Groot) doing heroic space shit with a HOLY SHIT BEST SPACE PRISON ESCAPE EVER. Very enjoyable psychotic one-dimensional villains who just want to kill people en masse based on stupid ancient pseudo-values. Black market capitalism, the weapons trade, something something. It’s really AWESOME and FUNNY.

MUSIC USE: 3.5 out of 5.0

Kidnapped from Earth by space hicks, Starlord treasures his ’70s rock and soul ballads cassette mixtapes and his Sony Walkman, which is our soundtrack as he sluts around the galaxy doing petty crimes and strutting about alien landscapes. David Bowie is happy right now. I’m so surprised how not lame this bit came out.

SELF-AWARENESS: 2.5 out of 5.0
Every time something really AWESOME and happens and there are these dramatic typical speeches of determination after a visually thrilling battle, they make fun of it with something like “Look at us standing up in a circle like idiots!” It’s actually 100% self-aware, but the AWESOMENESS dilutes that down to a perfect balance so you leave the theater like woah and haaaa, ha. I’m overthinking it. So there’s this awesome racoon in it. Go see it and have a good time. The world is a terrible place, actually.


You don’t get it. I feel bad for you. Here is one fuck.

(Graphics: Michael WeinfeldMore: All Minimalist Film Reviews