A study by the Cardiff University Otter Project and the Chemicals, Health, and Environment Monitoring Trust shows a strong correlation between pollutants and hormone-disrupting chemicals in otters’ ecosystem and gradually shrinking penis sizes in the males of the species. And because chemicals that effect one mammal often effect other’s, it’s possible that those same chemicals may lead to little dicks in human males as well. I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself.
But cum hoc non propter hoc, of course, meaning that just because little wieners and pollution are correlated doesn’t mean the pollution actually caused the little wieners. But there’s enough evidence to give scientists pause. “It is not possible to determine exactly what the causes of these changes are,” wrote researchers, “But various studies, both in the laboratory and in wildlife, have suggested links between hormone disrupting chemicals and problems with male reproductive health.”
The pollutants’ effects also included “more cysts on the tubes that funnel sperm, and more cases of undescended testes,” according to Co.Exist. Anybody want to come help me clean up some rivers later?