An 88-year-old Upper East Side man is suing Apple to try and keep the world’s largest company from opening their imminent Madison Avenue retail outpost, the New York Post reports. Herbert Feinberg’s lawsuit, filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, argues that the store is incompatible with the neighborhood’s “small and luxury retailers” and “well-known art galleries that draw visitors consistent with the unique neighborhood culture.”

“The retired vintner claims the store will lower property values as it will surely draw the hoi polloi into the city’s richest area,” the Post writes.

We admire Mr. Feinberg’s chutzpah as a solitary old man taking on the biggest company in the world. Large corporations with teams of lawyers half his age don’t have the courage to stand up to Apple. But Herbert Feinberg is devoted to keeping his neighborhood exclusive. His bitterness and resentment keep him alive. Most people his age are preparing for death, but he is still worried about property values and neighborhood character. Maybe he doesn’t want his great-grandchildren to inherit an Upper East Side unlike his own (that is, if his children and grandchildren still speak to him, because a man like Herbert Feinberg does not care about alienating family members in pursuit of justice). The world has left Herbert Feinberg behind. He doesn’t know about these iPods and iPads. He just knows he doesn’t like it. And he’s not going down without a fight. The prospect of spending his last days on Earth in court pursuing a frivolous lawsuit doesn’t phase him. They can pry his rotary phone from his cold, dead hands.

The Upper East Side store will open June 13.

(Image: Google Maps)