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Minimalist Film Reviews: Lovelace


08.21.13 Marina Galperina & Nate Cepis

Lovelace (2013)

There is this ancient celluloid scroll DEEPTHROAT w/LINDA LOVELACE w/clitoris not where clitorisies go, feat. many fellatios & v popular some half-century ago, important #censorship etc. But Linda’s story is #SAD so ☆ ENTER HOLLYWOOD ☆ Amanda Seyfried as “girl next door” HAHA James Franco as Hugh Hefner BAHAHAHA… but story SAD, so a v good Lifetime movie!.. Oh… A movie!

 

DEPTH: 2.0 out of 5.0

   

It’s hard to assess factuality and narrative depth when the narrator is unreliable as her operative reality has been repeatedly manipulated… I mean DICK DICK DICK CLICK CLICK CLICK DICK DICK DICK SEXUAL PUN CLICK CLICK!!!

 

FILM SCHOOL JARGON USE OPPORTUNITY: 2.5 out of 5.0  

    

Mise-en-scène is where blowjobs are. Diegesis is for all the other blow. Tell it this way: Porn Cinderella. Then retell it that way: Porn Not-So-Cinderella Cuz BF Is Abusive Controlling Cretin Pimp. Overlapping things look diff now — O I C WHAT U DID THERE! Arty kinda not really at all.

 

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FEMINISMISHESQUENESS: 2 out of 5.0

                                                      

Oh yey, it wasn’t anti-porn thought it was going to be anti-potn but it’s not because good porn guys save her from bad porn guy. It’s just a story of a prude/damsel-in-distress/pornstar/wife/prostitute/fictional-throat-vagina/superfreak/celebrity/recanter/mother/wife again but victim/victim/victim. Wait. Something loud being said. But what. But. What.

 

 

Minimalist review: Marina Galperina
Minimalist graphics: Nate Cepis
More: All Minimalist Film Reviews