Alaskan hillbilly and Sarah Palin’s daughter’s baby’s father, Levi Johnston, says he wants to run for mayor of Wasilla and so Slate dreamed up what his campaign might look like. Although the spot was done mockingly, it’s not that far off the mark. Stop giving dude ideas! |ADN|
Well here’s a heartwarming holiday story about love and family and all that, and it just so happens to involves America’s preeminent champion of good, old fashioned family values, Sarah Palin. In the middle of the holiday season, Palin’s daughter Bristol petitioned an Alaskan family court to have all of Levi Johnston’s custody rights stripped away. Even worse, the Palins attempted to do it secretly so that the dastardly liberal media, not to mention pathetic bloggers, would never find out. Read more »
Levi Johnston has barely been in New York for 24 hours for his Playgirl shoot, and he’s already making a splash. He kicked it off by bro-ing it up in a pea coat with Jon Gosselin (Does Ed Hardy make pea coats?) in Times Square last night, and this afternoon he sued Twitter for allowing a fake Levi Johnston Twitter account to exist. Lighten the fuck up Levi! Oh, and he also says he’s going to try to take the baby he made with Sarah Palin’s daughter away from her. |Daily Intel & The Insider|
Tonight Sarah Palin, she of the folksy twang and fertile vagina lusted for by all of God’s children, otherwise known as “conservatives,” will deliver an address to some group of mouth-breathing Wisconsin people who hate abortions and the spawn of Satan who have/perform them. In the course of her address, these aforementioned mouth-breathing Wisconsinites will surely want to put down their fried cheese curds and corn nuts, albeit only for a brief moment, to snap a photograph of their beloved warrior princess and intellectual titan, but the self-proclaimed “real American” and defender of “main street family values” has forbidden all photographic/video/audio equipment from the room out of fear that Levi Johnston will jerk off to the resulting image(s), spraying his mighty sperm high into the brisk Alaskan air, which will carry the cock-gangsta’s seed across snow-capped mountains and mounds of frozen moose dung and deposit it straight into the pouty vaginas of Palin’s daughters, knocking at least one of them up, again. And that would just be too tragic, wouldn’t it? |CNN|
Wow…there’s so much going on with the Alaskan cock-gangsta today that I don’t even know where to begin. Here’s a tease…Levi is having concerns over the appearance of his dong in his upcoming Playgirl spread, William Shatner mocks Levi on the Tonight Show by doing a dramatic reading of Levi’s tweets, Levi says that the Tonight Show “shat” on him, and Levi insinuates that Trig Palin may actually be his son. Buckle up folks. Read more »
As I’ve previously stated, I’m sort of over Levi Johnston. I often wish he’d just go back to Wasilla and drown himself in meth-ed out pussy and moose chili. But every now and again Levi will bait a hook that I can’t help but bite, like this morning when he appeared on CBS’ The Early Show and insinuated that he has dirt on Sarah Palin that could absolutely destroy her. Yes Levi, go on! Read more »
On Saturday, while I was in a bar watching a football game of all places, a friend casually mentioned to me that his boyfriend (Yes, I watch football with a gay male friend…so New York, no?) had a friend who is in some way involved with the Levi Johnston Playgirl shoot, and that this friend said that the magazine had upped its initial financial offer to Johnston (I’m told they offered $150k for dick pics) in order to persuade him to go full-frontal nude for the spread, and that Johnston had accepted the offer. I sent out a couple of emails seeking confirmation on this, but the New York Post today seems to have confirmed it for me: the father of Sarah Palin’s grandchild will soon be showing off his own Alaskan pipeline in the pages of Playgirl. Read more »
Hey remember Levi Johnston, the Alaskan cock-gangsta who knocked up the daughter of Trixie Klondyke, Alaskan Warrior Princess? Well, earlier in the week he was revealed as the new posterboy for protected nuts and we did everything we could to ignore it, because frankly, I’m kind of over Levi. But now today we’ve learned that Levi is going to take it off for Playgirl, and we just can’t ignore this. Read more »
Intellectual heavyweight and newly initiated political pundit Levi Johnston says that the Palins haven’t been getting along “from day one.” Bristol Palin’s baby father also offered a theory on why Sarah quit the governorship: “She’s taking the money.” |NYDN|
Editor-in-Chief:
