Hoodrats Using Smartphones Dumbly

As a rider of NYC’s elevated subway lines, I’m all too familiar with the obnoxious antics that riders exhibit by way of their cell phones, but it’s usually only a temporary mental splinter that comes to an eventual end once the train rolls into an underground station. Unless of course they’re “blasting.” That’s the term the “youth” reportedly use when they play music over their smartphones as if they were mini-boom boxes, according to amNY. Read more »

Whipahol Fever Hit Kansas Forever Ago

News that alcoholic whipped cream is catching on in Boston has garnered the substance about one million blog posts and twice as many Four Loko comparisons. But “whipahol” has been a big thing in Kansas since the late summer, replacing meth as the state’s most popular drug.  Take that, East Coast tastemaker-jerks! Read more »

Criminologist Blames Jay-Z for Uptick In Yankee Cap Wearing Perps

The New York Times is trying to figure out why so many criminals wear Yankee hats and they’re exploring a few theories. According to one criminologist, it’s rap music’s fault. He describes it as the “Jay-Z effect,” which goes a little something like this: Because Hov raps about wearing a Yankees cap, he gives it “street cred” and that in turn makes it a must-have accessory amongst “urban youths” and since they’re the ones doing the crimes, bingo! But is that giving hip hop way too much credit? Possibly. Read more »

Latest Trend: Alligator Sightings In Places They Shouldn’t Be

In the past 24 hours or so, baby alligators have now made appearances in New York City, Chicago and Brockton, a place in Massachusetts that you’ve never heard of. Fun fact: Owning an exotic reptile in MA is perfectly legal with the right permit. However, authorities say this one was illegal and appears to have gotten away from its owner.

New Yorkers Find Solace In Pet Death Industry

Unlike Long Island, where all you need is a backyard and a shovel, disposing of dead pets with dignity can prove a little more difficult for most NYC residents. There’s always cremation or cemeteries like Hartsdale, where Mariah Carey’s cat Clarence eternally rests in peace, but that could get costly. Read more »

Retirement Activities Now Include Bong Hits, Pill Popping

Freaking old people. In the past few years have you noticed how they’ve been increasingly co-opting elements of youth culture?: iPods, text messaging, Nintendo Wii, etc… But they may have finally crossed the line by adopting their drug habits as well. According to a new report on substance abuse, today’s baby boomers are mostly fond of weed and prescription pills, which is bad for their health, but probably great for family reunions. |CBS News|

The Latest Ridiculous New York Lifestyle ‘Trend’ Unearthed by the Times: Cavemen

Well you almost knew that, what with the trend toward vegan and vegetarian lifestyles and all, some sect of cool kids would gravitate toward the other extreme if only to stand out from their peers. So now we have a small group of New Yorkers embracing cavemanism and, naturally, they were somehow unearthed by the New York Times’ Style section for a feature piece in Sunday’s paper. Read more »

Facebook and Twitter Are For Broads, Says Study

According to date culled from Google, chicks use Twitter and Facebook considerably more than dudes do. Meanwhile, dudes continue to use Bang Bros. and Brazzers considerably more frequently than chicks (and don’t try to pretend that you aren’t familiar with those websites fellas!). |NY Observer|

Shutter Shades Make Cover of Muslim Tastemaker Mag

One of the more obnoxious fashion trends started by rapper, fan hater, and pisser off of hippies, Kanye West, (besides encouraging kids to dress like fruity jelly beans) has to be the shutter shades. They’ve reared their ugly heads all over, from the “greatest of all time to the craigslist cash waver” and beyond, the accessory has somehow managed to outpace even the detestable Ambervisions. But for Elan, the magazine that asks readers to ‘Rethink Muslim,’ the sunglasses are featured on the cover of their latest issue, worn by some sort of Silver Surfery, asexual being. With Islam not really regarded for its forward thinking fashion sense, it’s now safe to say that these glasses are on a jihad for relevancy.
(Click cover to enlarge)