Would-Be Presidential Assassin Ate Lots of Pussy on His Road Trip to the White House

Remember Francisco Martin Duran, the guy who, in a lame attempt to assassinate Bill Clinton, sprayed the White House with 29 rounds of gunfire from the street in 1994? No? Well, me neither. Anyway, for 15 years he says that he’s refused to talk about the whole thing, but was recently inspired to conduct an interview with himself and mail it to Vice because “VICE shares with her audience real people out having a blast or doing what is necessary to survive. The bullshit does fly, yet it’s with a message and kickass pictures as a sort of ride-along to give the reader a face with the message. I like that.” Below is an excerpt of Duran’s Penthouse Letter-esque “interview” in which he brags about all the pussy he ate during his cross-country journey to Washington D.C. to murder the president. Read more »

Handwriting Analysts Wanted

As the endless, breathless search continues for Kari Ferrell, the “Hipster Grifter” also known as “Korean Abdul-Jabbar,” here’s one crucial piece of evidence: the original “I want to give you a handjob with my mouth” note, which was, amazingly, sitting right there on Flickr since November 3rd 2008. Now, those with Cafe Press T-shirt accounts have a template to work from. Update: Two of her last known roommates speak out.

Photo by wadehammer