Is your porn addiction preventing you from advancing your career? Are you tired of constantly looking over your shoulder for fear of pesky bosses interrupting your midday office MILF fix? Fear no more: this Chinese security company has just the job for you!
Despite China’s incredibly strict porn censorship policies, new adult entertainment sites continue popping up every day. IT’S OUT OF CONTROL. Which is why China’s League of Safety is desperately seeking a special someone — an virtual cock-blocking chevalier, if you will — to become their “Chief Pornographic Identification Officer.”
The job listing reads:
Job Title: Chief Pornographic Identification Officer
Work Location: Beijing
Compensation: 200,000 RMB (US$32,300) yearly
Job Description: Rapid Determination of Adult Sites
Requirements:
1) Must be familiar with the standard of adult content from around the world
2) Must be familiar with China’s law standards regarding adult content, familiar with documented regulations
3) Must be familiar with the standards for adult content on China’s internet and it’s service providers
4) Regardless of gender, must be college graduate from 25-35 years old
5) Must have a strong sense of responsibility and work well in a team
Benefits
1) Full insurance benefits; food, transportation and some communication expenses
2) Book purchasing expenses (actual cost); daily fruit and yogurt
3) Yearly physical check-up; birthday, wedding, and baby bonuses
“Chief Pornographic Identification Officer”… Sounds important, doesn’t it? Finally, a job specially tailored for your skill set. While the competition is steep — the Safety League received thousands of applications from around the world within two days — the perks are more than enough motivation to brush off the old resume. Just think: a 32K annual salary to do what you secretly already do for free. AND there’s daily fruit and yogurt. Thanks, Nerdcore.
