In the late 1880s, people called vaginas “horse-collars” and penises “love truncheons.” If the penis was big, however, they might call it a “kidney-wiper,” and if it was erect, “bit of stiff.” How do I know? These excellent, astoundingly detailed interactive timelines (spotted by our friends at Nerdcore) of the things we called our naughty bits from the 1200s to the present. There’s one for female genitalia and another for male, naturally.
Some terms, like the 1930s’ “ringerangeroo” and “twitchet” for vagina, are almost whimsical; others, like the late 19th century’s “cunt-plugger” for penis, are just raw. All are a lot of fun to scroll through.