Minimalist Film Reviews: Salinger

September 25, 2013 | Marina Galperina

Salinger (2013)

Solidish but 2 long doc @ that 1 guy who wrote that 1 book u read in high school & were like woah this book!!! Did u know JD was up in piles of burnt bodies at the Holocaust camps? Dude’s 1st of like 300 straight days of combat was at Utah fucking Beach on D-Day. Thats Y SO SRS. And an asshole. But wrote sum good stuff they say a lot in ∞ all deez interviewz ∞


FAN BOY-ISM: 4.0 out of 5.0

Dir. Shane Salerno’s ♡o。hard-on。4 Catcher in the Rye UP SO MUCH IN MY FACE christ lower ur dick plz. For real, there’s a Church of Mormon ad-esque tiled-shot mosaic of grinning fans w/Catcher books all like OMG THIS BOOK I AM ALSO A MISUNDERSTOOD SENSITIVE YOUNG GUN stfu. Yes: v important to read and epiphany on… in high school. Any older and ur just festering in the banality of your belated pseudo-awaking. Eat less benzos, bro.


How mysterious! What an elusive recluse! Where is he? Oh, he’s at the club but there was no internet yet so he can go under the radar if he wants between refilling on teenage girlfriends. Now we know.


Excellent doc part where director lumps the revelation in one steady spurt: Salinger liked teenage girls, the pretty/talented/fresh/empty ones so he could crush their selves and project on them his idea of what they should be and go lock himself to write all these tomes of Henry Darger-y nonsense to make his fictional family more real because they understand him dammit DON’T KNOCK ON MY SPECIAL WRITING HUT’S DOOR BITCH! She’s getting old, like twenty something. Ew her uterus is all used now. Ruh oh. Looks like some1 needs a new teen concubine. Asshole. I mean I’m sorry, the Holocaust (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`) right


Minimalist review: Marina Galperina
Minimalist graphics: Nate Cepis
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