Dear Subway Riders, Your Balls Are Not That Big

October 7, 2014 | Rhett Jones

The practice of men sitting on the subway with their legs spread so far apart that they take up two seats has been given a name: “man spread.” According to amNY, it’s a “widening blight on public transportation.”

It’s so common that there are competing blogs dedicated to posting pictures of the offenders. When they asked one man spread-er on the subway about it, he said “Men need space.” Got that? Men need space to accommodate their big balls and dicks.

Dr. Marc Goldstein, Distinguished Professor of Reproductive Medicine and Urology at Cornell, says that’s not necessarily true. “Sitting with legs splayed apart is rude, inconsiderate and has no medical rationale, especially if done only during the 30 to 45 minutes of a subway ride,” the professor says bluntly.

The more likely answer is that they are dipping into their primate geneology and establishing territory. David Givens, head of the Center for Nonverbal Studies says, “humans generally dislike being in close physical proximity with strangers, prompting some men to indulge in “guarding behavior” by extending their appendages like a buffer, to claim extra space.”

“Me man, take up space.” It’s that simple. (Photo: Men Taking Up Space)