Ikea’s MALM series of bed frames features sturdy wood construction, a variety of appealing finishes, and a sleek, modern look that’s sure to get your inner Bauhausian hot and ready to go. It’s the perfect vehicle for sweet, sweet Swedish sex, or, if you’re going to be honest with yourself about it, a Redtube-fueled masturbation sesh or two. But what if you love your Malm so much, you’d like it to be the subject of your porn?

Enter Hot Malm, a site devoted to bringing you the sexxxiest in minimal furniture content. There’s Malm-on-Malm action, a live chat for finding a hot Malm in your area, even Malms getting “Supermanned” with “wood in every hole.” I’m getting randy just writing about it.

“We were inspired by the beauty of Malms ever since we first encountered them in college,” Hot Malm co-creator Asa┬áIvry-Block told ANIMAL, totally wink-wink nudge-nudge not ironically explaining the inspiration for the site.

“While there, we laid plenty but as we grew older, we noticed that something was lacking,” he added. “There wasn’t a place that shared our enthusiasm, where people that understood the beauty of a bare Malm could call home. We were inspired by a mission to share Malms of every size and color with the world.”

Can’t get enough XXX Swedish furniture content? Don’t forget about Just Another Ikea Catalog, a Tumblr documenting all the times the titular retailer’s wares show up in real, human-on-human amateur porn (which is now the subject of potential legal action from Ikea).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a live Malm cam feed to watch.