Tuesday was St. Patrick’s Day, one of the rare days in New York where public intoxication is not only acceptable, but also encouraged. It’s a joyous day where even the NIMBY crowd, which rails so hard against the holiday’s bastard cousin, SantaCon, more or less shuts up. So ANIMAL went to one of Manhattan’s cheapest bars, Continential, and asked drunken revelers to recite lewd Irish limericks for the benefit of the greater good. And they delivered. These were the three rhymes:

There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny.
For half of that sum
You might fondle her bum
The source of amusement to many.

There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a man Robin Hood
Who lives in a Knottingham wood
He learned how to fuck
from old Friar Tuck
And made Marion whenever he could.

(Video: Aymann Ismail/ANIMALNewYork)