Tag: Minimalist Film Reviews
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) Wes Anderson’s newest film minces/gallops inside/around a hotel, its visitors (rich hags, writers), staff, proprietors, and one particular concierge whose professionalism is so divine and immaculate, it brings a tear to your eye. And then, the other eye. ALL PERFECT EVERYTHING: 5.0 out of 5.0 This is Wes Anderson’s most opulent […]
Interior. Leather Bar. (2013) Went to Francofest thought this is going to be James Franco reenacting 40 minutes of explicit gay S&M sex cut out of Cruising, but it’s really a 60-minute meta-documentary of James Franco trying to reenact 40 minutes of explicit gay S&M sex cut out of Cruising AND IT WAS VERY FUCKING GOOD WTF (ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~~ ATTABOY FRANCO: 4.5 out of 5.0 Francoly, […]
The Lego Movie (2014) A LEGO®-based comedy action-adventure with an unlikely protagonist, uplifting message and sensible interlaced multi-world narrative, surprisingly not shit (´･_･`) MOVIENESS: 4.0 out of 5.0 I ＼(☆o◎)／ed, I ヘ（。□°）ヘed, this is like a real movie UNAMERICAN ANTI-CAPITALIST PROPAGANDA: 3.5 out of 5.0 “OMG BROS! LEGO® wants us to make a […]
Anchorman 2 (2013) I didn’t see 1, but they said it was going to be funny （￣へ￣） CAMEOS: 6.0 out of 5.0 DRAAAKE!!! Then there’s like this scene right where all the news teams are battling each other in the park. KANYE?!!! ヽ(^。^)丿Nah. Jim Carrey and what’s his name. All this amuses me because I’ve seen […]
Her (2013) Is a film about an OS AI girlfriend, but u will mostly look at Joaquin Phoenix’s face feeling things, but is A Perfect Film I can’t can’t sorry ｡･ﾟﾟ･STILL FULL OF SO MANY COMPLEX ･ﾟﾟ･FEELS･ﾟﾟ･ & ｡･ﾟﾟ･THINKS｡･ﾟﾟ･ RIGHT NOW ｡･ﾟﾟ･(இ‸இﾟ)･ﾟﾟ･｡ Spike Jonze u win, even forgive u 4 the Her fashion line at OP FUTURE-CHARACTER-WORLD AUTHENTICITY: 4.5 out of 5.0 […]
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Scorsese ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ superb muah true 2 brand muah. Started from the bottom now there’re Leo & Jonah stealing all the money because Wall Street. (Stealing is bad) Salesmanship. Riches. Intrigue. Vice. (Vice is bad) “Pharmacy on wings” !!!! (Drugs are very bad) Like fucking & stealing & drugs & brokerbros all sticking their […]
Massive Attack V Adam Curtis (2013, at Park Avenue Armory) Adam Curtis “documentary” W GIANT IMPORTANT WORDS — a beautiful pulsating super-cut of found-ish footage re: NEWS/GOVERNMENTS/DONALD TRUMP/THE SARCOPHAGUS OF DATA/RUSSIAN PUNK MUSIC FROM SIBERIA/ALGORITHMS OF SUBMISSION/WAR IN AFGHANISTAN… USA/RUSSIA/YOU.. etc. on many LARGE screens. U stand 4 movie but its really a concert. Massive […]
Salinger (2013) Solidish but 2 long doc @ that 1 guy who wrote that 1 book u read in high school & were like woah this book!!! Did u know JD was up in piles of burnt bodies at the Holocaust camps? Dude’s 1st of like 300 straight days of combat was at Utah fucking […]
Hell Baby (2013) From the guys who brought you Reno 911 it’s Reno 911 w/Vatican priests sorta. Haunted house! Haunted uterus! “Bitches be trippin.” Demon baby. Ghost blow jobs. Po’ boys. Po’verty. Exorcismz. Eviscerationz. HAHAHAHA. BLOoOOO0OO0oOD: 2.meh out of 5.0 Standard gory American comedy slapstick NOT GORY ENOUGH. Y U eviscerate/crucify “Dr.” Michael Ian Black and 1 scene […]
The World’s End (2013) Like Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz but w/40-yo-ish exbestbros doing a pub crawl while fighting alien robots. British but I liked — got jokes & everything ｡CUZ ° SO ° FUNNY｡ Ah, the futility of recapturing comforting camaraderie and rebellion of youth in the face of decades of compounding cynicism and HOLY SHIT FUCKING ALIEN ROBOTS ARE COMING […]
