“Soon enough I won’t have to deal with any of you fuckers,” quoth President of the Cooper Union Jamshed Bharucha on the fake CooperUnion.Biz website. The rest is an Onion-esque spectacle echoing the students’ dismay that for the first time in 154 years, Cooper Union plans to charge tuition. It just really needs updates. At this point in the conflict, “Sotheby’s Auction Held in the Great Hall” seems almost non-parodic. Yesterday, the students issued a fake press release as MetLife, which actually lent Cooper Union $175 million and said it would forgive the loan if the university remains free. Follow @FreeCooperUnion for updates.